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Conflict is Your Friend

5 Benefits of Conflict


When you experience a violent storm, it’s easy to rail against the weather.

The wind, particularly strong northeastern wind, called ‘bura’ here where I live and the rain can seem terrifying, especially when coupled with the crash of thunder and waves and the bright crackle of lightning splitting the sky.


(Photo: Morena Bravar, Essence of Croatia)


But ask any farmer, and they’ll tell you that even storms have their benefits. The rain is necessary for their crops. And believe it or not, lightning, when it strikes the ground, puts nitrogen into the soil that is so badly needed for crops to grow.


Likewise, conflict, regardless how uncomfortable it makes us feel, has certain benefits that we don’t always see initially. Keep reading to find several of them you might not have considered before now.


1. Conflict forces us to listen.

The only way to resolve conflict is to listen openly to the other person. No judgment. Through listening, we #acquire wisdom and learn to make #better decisions.


2. Conflicts make us aware of new ways to do things.

The very fact that there’s a conflict tells you that someone else has a different point of view from your own. By exploring those conflicts, you are likewise invited to explore the idea from a new angle, and maybe see a new solution that wouldn’t have occurred previously.


3. Conflicts enable us to verbalize better what we want.

Think of conflict as a way of being able to genuinely express yourself that doesn’t come up easily at other times. It’s through conflict that we decide what’s important to us, and how to put those feelings into words. Sometimes our high level of verbal expression during conflict time can pleasantly surprise us, which is not natural to us at other times.


4. Conflict drives flexibility.When we conflict, we’re hoping for others to see our point of view. But also in dealing with conflict, we’re forced to see the point of view of those around us. Serious conflict can catapult us into acceptance of the fact that not everybody shares our point of view. That is where we learn how to become flexible, to acknowledge that we’re not always right. The conflict then becomes the teacher of two traits that you can’t live without—that of #being open-minded, and of understanding humility.



5. Conflict drives solutions. When you deal with conflict, you are likewise dealing with a problem that needs a solution. Resolving that conflict means finding those solutions, usually in new and #innovative ways. Conflict, therefore, forces us to #creative problem solving .


While initially, you might shy away from the idea of conflict, it’s good to remember these benefits. Without conflict, we stagnate. We think as we ‘always think’, we do as we ‘always do’. There is not much room for something new in the way we think or do things, for #new values and new qualities / characteristics.


So while the storm outside might rage, remember that eventually, all tempests do come to an end. The sun will come out again, and blue, blue sky here where I live, and in that light, you’ll be able to see just how much you’ve #grown and #benefitted by that #conflict. The #benefits of conflict might not be visible to you immediately. But, when next conflict appears, you'll response in, at least, little different way.


Here where I live, there are a lot of beautiful sunny days, but the sky is never so amazingly blue like #after the storm.


We never grow faster in our daily, mundane life, than through a conflict. It appears that #conflict is your friend.


I am aware of that truth for a long time, but still prefer to avoid conflicts. I still prefer ‘flowers and butterflies’ in my life. But, when a conflict arises, I know that I’ll get through it stronger, better and perhaps attract more flowers and butterflies in my life.


What about you?


P.S. Next post: How to Use Reiki to Help Resolve Conflict

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